"Love is friendship on fire."
- from The Perfect Man
So, here it comes again: Valentine's Day. If you know me, I'm a huge advocate of romance, but a much smaller advocate of Valentine's Day. Why is that?
Valentine's Day brings with it too much pressure, the way we deal with it in our society. For many men, they can't stand the day, because they are afraid they won't meet their partner's expectations. And, although many women look forward to the holiday, a lot feel that it has fallen short of their expectations by February 15th.
The reason: movies, TV shows, books, commercials, and the like have all painted a perfect scenario for Valentine's Day, that most of us can never replicate.
There are the expectations: the dinner, the jewelry, the candy, the flowers, and the slow lovin' with candles and Barry White songs in the background. Any of these can be great for a couple, but shouldn't be what we measure our romance attempts to. What's truly romantic is knowing your partner and his/her interests and what he/she need. It may be a new pair of running shoes, or tickets to a concert, or a car wash or (in the case of Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton.. yes they were a couple), a vial of your partner's blood on a necklace (I know, kinda creepie). The thing is, if you know your partner, if you are truly their friend, not merely their spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, then you know what lights their fire.
And, that's where the quote comes in (sheesh, pretty long-winded this month, eh?). With friendship as your foundation to your relationship, romance is easy. We know our friends. We know what rocks their boats. Well, love is supposed to be friendship on fire. If it is, then this Valentine's Day, you won't have to feel stressed. You won't look at it as the one day out of the year (maybe second, if you count your anniversary) where you are forced to feign romance.
Instead, look at Valentine's Day as the official reminder of keeping romance alive all year long... with your friend.
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Submitted by Leon Scott Baxter Lewandowski (America's Romance Guru) Author of "A Labor With Love" and "Out of the Doghouse" www.CouplesCommittedToLove.com |
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How do you manage your relationship with your spouse when your kids are front and center 24/7? I really hope that some of you have found a better and more consistent way to keep up the romance even with a household of kids. I have found it to be a challenge the older our kids get. No longer is it sleepless nights with a baby where we can barely function or talk to each other. Now our Friday nights are my husband at one daughter's hockey game and me down the street at another daughter's waterpolo scrimmage. We have just learned to find the humor in it all and know that this period, even though it can feel like forever, is really such a short time. I have come to realize that the attraction for me these days is watching my husband coach our kids, hang shelves in the house, cook breakfast in the morning and his commitment to our family. I know there are others of you who have your weekly date night set up in advance and I have heard the trick is to schedule the babysitter consistently so that you are not tempted to cancel. We each have to find what works with our families but the most important part is remembering to appreciate our spouses all year long.
Need a special Valentine gift idea? 
